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Ep. 190 Lion Taming: Finding Your Power in Negotiations

Episode Highlights

✅ Introduction to Lion Taming (00:00:00)

  • Dr. Amy Vertrees introduces the “Lion Taming” master class on power and negotiation.

  • Highlights her coaching program for women surgeons, helping them handle difficult colleagues, power dynamics, and negotiations.

  • Defines BOSS as a suite of coaching and courses teaching crucial career skills often missing from surgical training.

✅ Who (or What) is the Lion? (00:02:08)

  • “Lions” = Anyone who can harm your career, reputation, or confidence—senior colleagues, competitors, even patients.

  • The most dangerous lions are sometimes the most powerless or wounded.

  • Lion taming means:

    • Finding your own power

    • Managing those with power over you

    • Acting despite fear

    • Leading without formal authority

✅ Stress Responses in Conflict (00:05:52)

  • Workplace conflicts trigger strong emotions like anger, fear, shame, or sadness.

  • These emotions often stem from being dismissed, interrupted, or undermined.

  • Four stress responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn.

  • Lion taming often involves recognizing and managing the “fight” response.

  • Lesson from Androcles & the Lion: understanding and soothing the “lion’s pain” can transform conflict into cooperation.

✅ New Approaches to Negotiation (00:12:15)

  • Avoid using:

    • The “Hammer” (intimidation)

    • The “Armor” (withholding vulnerability)

  • Instead, aim for:

    • Honesty

    • Genuine curiosity

    • Emotional intelligence

  • Insights from Kasia Urbaniak’s “Woman’s Guide to Power Unbound”:

    • Dominance: Knowing and using your power

    • Submission: Knowing what you want and influencing others to give it to you

✅ Self-Discovery & Managing Lions (00:16:35)

  • Crucial steps for effective negotiation:

    • Know your strengths and weaknesses

    • Understand what you truly want

    • Believe in your capacity to achieve it

  • Reduce the lion’s perceived threat by envisioning the best version of them.

  • Negotiation isn’t purely logical—it’s driven by emotion and the sense of safety.

✅ Three Steps to Tame a Lion (00:25:20)

  • Anchor: Create safety and stability within yourself.

  • Align: Shift attention outward to engage strategically.

  • Ask: Make a clear, powerful request.

  • Recognize where your attention is:

    • Inward focus = Submission

    • Outward focus = Dominance

✅ Power is Not a Threat—It’s a Tool (00:35:55)

  • Power exists to influence, not intimidate.

  • Dr. Vertrees encourages listeners to use their power for positive change.

  • Power Negotiations course topics include:

    • Identifying your needs

    • Reading others’ needs

    • Practical negotiation techniques

    • Surviving high-stakes conversations

  • The “CEO Self-Concept”: Think of yourself as your own business, making choices aligned with your mission and values.

✅ Coaching Program Details (00:41:33)

  • Weekly live sessions

  • Private podcast + Facebook group

  • Email support

  • Discounted 1:1 coaching calls

  • Dr. Vertrees encourages potential clients to discuss fit before joining.

Action Items

📝 Visit bosssurgery.com to:

  • Learn more about coaching

  • Join the group program

  • Access resources for negotiating and managing challenging dynamics

Quote of the Episode

“True confidence is the willingness to feel any negative emotion—and act anyway.”
— Dr. Amy Vertrees